How in the hell do I get my photos to post? Seems impossible to put anything up small enough to be 250kb?
Two different issues there: the screen size of the image and the file size. Big pictures can still be smaller file sizes by using more picture compression. If your phone or camera doesn't give you the choice of how small to make the file size, there are websites you can upload to, select a new size and amount of compression and it will cough your picture back to you with those settings. Then you can save it, upload it here and share.
The compression trade-off is that it tries to estimate what pixels next to each other should be, instead of storing the actual pixels. As a result, some details can get lost with higher compression. You'll notice it with things like the clarity of reading the tank decal in the photo. A smaller file (highly compressed) will lose the fine detail.
Looking forward to seeing more pics.